Skip to main content

15 July

I know, I know. Nine days since I last posted a progress report here. I have not been completely idle in that time. I have been on a career exploration/hunting bent during this time. I am emailing my resume to headhunters, I am reading two terrific career-search books, the classic What Color is Your Parachute and a highly recommended The Pathfinder. And I had a free resume evaluation completed.

I also continue to contact real estate agents to discuss the relative merits of homes in their area. Most recently the Big Fork and Lakeside Montana areas, sitting on opposite sides of the Flathead Lake in northwest Montana. The cost of real estate is much more reasonable, however, the winters are very grey and the town's population drops from a summer-time high of 10,000 to 1,500, which doesn't sound great for the sense of community I was looking for.

Yesterday I did some online research looking for feedback on what it would be like to be a single, non-Mormon, woman living in Utah. The results were mixed but overall not positive for career or dating prospects. Which gives me pause about Midway and Heber City, although I understand that Park City is much more liberal and diverse, though touristy.

More than anything I have been suffering from a case of being blocked by fear. Apparently I am not alone. As I was skimming through Parachute (2008 edition) last night I came across an entire chapter devoted to why we get stuck and how to get unstuck. Bolles' sites brain research that suggests that we get stuck because our left, rational, brain wants to keep us safe and therefore sends us fear signals that fill our minds with doom and gloom messages that we are making the wrong decision and should stay put rather than embark on any new risky adventure. This message is in conflict with our right brain which is encouraging us to take risks and try new things to grow and enjoy life. When the conflict is strong enough we simply get stuck. Which is where I am right now....I am stuck and my chest feels full of fear of making the wrong decision and depressed at my inability to decide.

One question keeps playing in the back of my mind: if money was no object, if you had only one place to choose, where would it be? The answer is of course: Lake Tahoe. And a friend actually said in that case, go, rent a house and see what happens. Leave it to the fates instead of finding another place grounded in more realistic housing prices? This is my Occam's razor, the horns of my dilemma. This is the question that has ground me to a halt and reduced me to a quivering, fearful mass of indecisive jelly.

Comments

larramiefg said…
Go West, Suzanne, NOT north but west!

Popular posts from this blog

Women are Highly Esteemed in the Eyes of This Man

I enter the sanctuary of Our Lady of Peace Church and my eyes adjust to the dimmed lights as the only illumination comes from candles on the altar and their glowing reflection in the monstrance holding the Blessed Sacrament.
My friend and I had come to join the Mary and Martha’s quarterly meeting which started with an hour of Adoration.
I took my seat in one of the pews, knelt, and surreptitiously glanced around the sanctuary. In the gloaming, I could see thirty other women kneeling like sentinels in silent prayer. 
Over the course of the hour, we would remain in contemplative silence.
As I slipped in and out of my prayers and wandering thoughts, I considered how pleased God must be when he sees us gathered in the simple and divine act of Adoration.
But in fact, women are highly esteemed in God’s sight not matter where we are. 
We only look at the life of Jesus Christ to understand how dearly he cherishes every woman.
In the Gospel of Saint John, a group of men bring a woman caught i…

When our spirit hungers

The precocious toddler’s interest in talking to her mother grew in insistence as the gathered group settled in for an hour of silent prayer. Shushing didn’t work, so the mother led her child into an adjoining room where she would still be part of the sanctuary, but sound would be dampened. Despite the closed door and heavy glass walls, the child’s fervent desire to speak with her mother was still audible.
I said a prayer for the patient mother determined to stay, and for the child who was either tired or hungry or impatient for Mom’s undivided attention. And then tried to bring my wandering thoughts back to prayer. I had come to Adoration with my own pressing need for answers.
Over the past few weeks I’ve noticed a growing emptiness in my heart. A void, as if something is missing. It’s not psychological. Not physical. After doing an internal check, I determined it’s a spiritual void that I’m experiencing.
No, I’m not doubting God, his existence or goodness. I have full confidence in…

If you are tired of the guilt trip you usually feel at church, here’s a different perspective

I am counting the days until I fly to Fort Lauderdale to see Mom for Christmas. Yes, I speak with her every day, sometimes twice a day. But as you know, phone calls just aren’t the same as being with someone you love. I look forward to seeing Mom’s smile, to holding her hand, to going for a drive along the beach with her. Spending time in the presence of someone we love enriches our relationship with them.
I believe the love I feel for Mom, is a sliver of what God feels for each of us. I believe God longs to share that love with us. Which is why we are called to spend time in God’s presence daily. We experience God’s presence when we meet him in our prayers, in church, and hopefully in one another. If I could make one wish for each of us, it would be that at some point during the next four weeks of Advent we would experience how much Jesus loves us.



The Best Christmas

During my morning devotions, I read these two verses of Psalm 117:
Praise theLord,all you nations;
extol him, all you peop…